Believing Our Lives Have Value

How many of us live our lives every day going through the motions, meeting needs and expectations, but never stopping to really see the moments in our lives? The more hectic our lives become, the more we go into autopilot and just coast through our days, missing impactful details. Many of us go into this mode because we lack the belief our input matters, we feel others are more important, we lose sight of the gifts we have to offer.

No matter where you are in life, you have value, you matter, and you have a lot to offer this world. The key is to remember that, to make ourselves important, not in a selfish, self-centered way, but rather in the way we care for someone who is important to us. Finding value in ourselves means we work to meet our needs, we understand that in order to help others we must first care for ourselves.

As a parent, it is one of the most difficult things to do, to make self-care a priority. Our children take center stage, we give them everything we have in order to ensure their lives are better than ours. But as many say, we can’t give from an empty bucket. The question then becomes, how do we fill our buckets, see our worth, and still give?

Feeling Worthy

Being worthy is not about what we do in a day or what we accomplish. To be honest, worthiness should be measured in the lives we impact by our deeds, not our deeds. We must stop thinking a good day can be measured in productivity, in our accomplishments. We could build the Eiffel Tower every day, but if we never grow, care for ourselves, or impact others, what value did we add?

In order to see our worth, we must stop looking at our to-do lists, our daily accomplishments. It doesn’t matter what we did today. We got up and we lived. That is what mattered. The smiles we give strangers, the kindness we show animals, the love we gave our family and friends, those are the actions that speak to our worth.

Making the Change

To-do lists are a necessary evil. The speed of life is far more than our brains can cope with. Using to-do lists as a tool, a way to list what needs to be done, so we can focus on one item at a time, is a healthy method. Using a to-do list to measure our productivity is unhealthy.

This past week I was really feeling the stress of life and work. I wanted nothing more than to check off daily items. But each day I was sidetracked with a friend in need, an animal needing love, or an unexpected challenge. By Wednesday, I was exhausted, frustrated, and in tears. As I talked myself through my frustrations, I realized how wrong I was. I would catch up, I always did. Being there for a friend, loving a dog was so much more important than anything on my to-do list. Those moments are investments in others’ lives, those moments show the impact I can make on others.

To make this change, we change our brains. What would happen if we measured our success by the number of smiles we generated or the number of people we listened to? What if we saw our value as having the ability to help others? The first step is to change the way we measure success, how we define success. For me, success is when someone I have helped, invested in, or mentored achieves their dream, when a rescue dog trusts again, when a friend confides in me, or when I can be strong enough for others. Success isn’t the awards and certificates, it’s not the credentials or corner office, it’s the lives I can change.

Changing the way we think, the way we define success is an attitude, a belief. We must start with our core values, our beliefs. When we know, when we understand what is important to us, we can change our thought process. Knowing what our purpose is, our mission in life, will keep us motivated along the journey. Having an understanding of these things will lead to a change in mindset, to a shift in how we define success.

Maintaining the Momentum

The key to maintaining any change is to surround ourselves with the right people. When we surround ourselves with people who are positive, who push us, who force us to be our best, who can see through the mess to what we really are, we can maintain the momentum. Trying to make change and staying where you are will stop the momentum, it will stunt our growth.

Energy attracts energy. As you embark on this journey, the changes you make, the positive energy you put out will attract the people you need in your life. Welcoming these new friends and mentors into your life will ensure your continued momentum.

Understanding that we have value is hard. It’s easy to say, almost impossible to believe. The first step is having the desire to live to your full potential.

Sincerely,

Sara O