Finding Healing
Life can be harsh, rushed, brutal, and overwhelming. Nothing ever goes as planned, and no one ever turns out to be the person you think they are. I think Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, the Sisters of Fate in Ancient Greece, had more fun than they were intended to have, creating pure havoc that seems to have multiplied over the years. And here we are, in a world where perfection is accepted and the difference is feared.
I have always wondered why people fear new, different, and change. Why do so many think it is ok to judge a person by the color of their skin, origins, or religion? At the end of the day, we are all human, and scientifically speaking, there is only one difference, the chromosome that decides if someone will be male or female. We all have melatonin, some just have more than others. We all believe in a higher power, we just have different names for the higher power. And we all have customs and cultures.
Many find comfort and solace in the known, in rituals, habits, and customs. I will be the first to say this is true of me. I have morning and evening routines, routines I clean by, routines for work and working out. While routines make mundane tasks easier for me to remember and complete, some routines even wake me up or relax me, I can become bored and stir-crazy if nothing ever changes. Keeping the routines which make me productive, while learning new things and changing up my day, keeps me on my toes and ensures that I am continually growing and bettering myself. My customs remind me of where I came from and give me the courage, strength, tenacity, and grit I need to get through my days. But new, new is exciting.
And therein lies the difference. There are those of us who want excitement and new, and there are those who want comfort and the same. Some of us are adventurers, continually wandering the world looking for new things to try, wanting more knowledge, continually pushing the boundaries. And there are those who want the peace and comfort of the same. Neither is wrong, neither is right. What is right is what is the right choice for you.
Yet in this mix of people, beliefs, and customs we have lost our ability to see the value in allowing others to be who they are. For centuries, we have forced people to conform, to live in the box others choose for them. We do this because we fear the difference, we fear that what we believe and what we have practiced for so long will be proven wrong. We don’t want to expand our minds, to think new thoughts, to grow. Because if we do, we will be different too. And then what? We have built cultures and communities for centuries that force us to conform to be what they want us to be because if not, we will be turned out. And no one wants to be on the other side of the door.
The question becomes why are we allowing a belief formed in ancient times to continue to drive us? Why has one belief permeated society, causing unnecessary wars, deaths, and fear for the past 50,000 years? Why do we continue to allow our fear of the dark, the unknown to win?
In an age of science, space exploration, and modern medicine, we are no more advanced than the Ancient Babylonians. Our society is still as primitive and brutal as that of the Aztecs. We have not become civilized, we have simply hidden our primitive behaviors and thoughts behind the majority. There has been no true advancement.
The people who have dared to be different, to question life, to cross lines have been pushed out, or worse, killed. Those who have tried to be modern, to find common ground have failed because of the drive of the majority. Those who dare, who get up each and every day determined to make this world a better place, are worn down, pushed out, and eventually remembered as the trouble makers.
Fear is real, and the cause of fear is loss of control, change, the unknown. Rather than being ok with taking one step at a time, of living life as it comes, of learning and growing, we choose to remain where we are, in what we know, because we are comfortable. But don’t mistake those who stay where they are because of an established support system, who strive to grow and change daily as part of this group. It takes strength to be different, to dare to change things.
The question now becomes, how do we heal our brokenness, our need for familiarity, and sameness? How do we overcome our fears and learn to open our minds? Because the only way forward is through learning, through growth, and becoming someone new. We start with one step. We choose to listen before we act, we choose to forgive and not seek vengeance, we accept people where they are, and understand not everyone can change. We focus on learning to live with our scars, to learn from them, but not allow them to drive us. We choose to step into our true roles and do what is best without thought of what others will think, because no one will ever be able to understand why you made the decisions you made. No one else has walked in your shoes, lived your life, or experienced what you have experienced. Our role is not to justify our decisions to others, but to question whether we are making the right decision, are we choosing to grow and move forward, or are we staying stagnant?
Life is a mysterious mystery, one we will never solve. Once we learn to learn, to grow, to change, that we can keep our customs and habits and not force them on others, we will start to see the needed change in this world. When we learn to share, listen, and stop seeing the outward appearance of a person, we will have taken the first step in healing.
Sincerely,
Sara
