Staying in our Lanes

How many times have you heard the phrase, “stay in your lane?” Or maybe, you have heard the phrase, “find your lane?” Regardless of the version of the phrase you were told, at some point or points in your life, you have been told to stop overstepping your boundaries.

I do this regularly. I overstep, push out, race, and switch lanes faster than people can blink. My mind never stops, I am always reading, and lately, my creativity has been at an all-time high. I feel like a wild bird who was caught and kept in a tiny cage who finally got its freedom. I feel alive, on top of the world, weightless, and I don’t want to miss a moment. I am living at full speed. And this, my friends, is the exact reason I cannot stay in my lane. For far too many years I was contained, told who I was and what I needed to do. At long last, I have found my freedom, and it is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted.

Creativity comes from having the freedom to live life, I mean really live life. Understanding this concept has taken me 41 long years. The majority of us were not meant to be kept in the box we have been placed in, we were meant to live loudly, to laugh a lot, and to love hard. Yet life, and fear have placed us in these boxes. The need to feel secure and safe has forced us to remain in jobs we hate. We cave into an image of what we think our life should be, what it should look like. We buy the house, car, and clothes we think we should, or are told to. Breaking out of this mold feels like the ultimate betrayal to success. Or is it?

For years, I fell into this trap. I built a life that looked standard. Outside, all the pieces aligned, and I looked happy. But inside, I was miserable, dying. It took five years of hardship, multiple traumas, and a hard smack in the face to truly find myself. The journey was difficult, the road was uphill, and the self-doubt, criticism, and hurt were overwhelming. As I struggled down the path, taking frequent rests, making unneeded detours that felt safer, finally coming to the fork in the road, I was tested. Those closest to me criticized my decisions, some tried to bully me on to the path they felt was correct, and finally, when I started I was not moving off my path, used anger, hate, and hurt as a final barrage.

I cannot tell you the pain I have endured, or the scars I have collected to remain true to myself. As I sit outside writing this piece, watching my beloved dogs play, I know I am where I am meant to be. I am meant to be a creative person, to write, solve problems, help other people. I am not meant to be in an office wearing suits and driving a respectable car. Writing about my life, the challenges, hardships, losses, joys, discoveries, and hope I have lived through is my purpose. Using the lessons learned in the years I was a CEO, ensuring other professionals have the tools and resources needed to achieve their dreams is my purpose. Doing it outside, in shorts and a t-shirt, with wild curls, and my dogs is where I belong.

If I had never dared to live, to wander off my path, I never would have met people, made amazing friends, had once-in-a-lifetime experiences, or discovered the hobbies I love. Life would have been safe, and successful, but boring. I would have lived a life without salt and salsa, a life in black and white. That is something I know I cannot do. I may struggle at times, need to hustle often, or spend long days working on a new project, but I am happy and free.

Maybe telling people to stay in their lanes isn’t a bad thing, as long as they are in the lane they are meant to be in.

Sincerely,

Sara