The difference between winning a battle and winning a war

So often in life, we become obsessed with always being right, of winning every little battle and skirmish which presents itself. We become so focused on what we perceive as a right that we lose sight of others’ perspectives as well as the value of our own peace. Learning to have internal peace means not having the need to always be right.

Let me explain. Years ago I learned to look at every decision based on the consequences attached. Every decision we make, every choice, has both positive and negative consequences. I learned that by looking beyond the choice itself, to the aftermath, and exploring whether I could live with the aftermath saved me time, energy, and helped me remain focused on my goals. Slowly, as this new perspective took hold, I lost the need to continually argue and fight, the need to always be right faded. You see, I had learned to judge everything on the effort, time, and energy it would cost me, adding the value of retaining my peace came naturally. I soon developed the perspective that life is not about winning the battles, but about winning the war.

When we focus on winning the war, we remain focused on our goals, our intent, and what we truly treasure. The battles and skirmishes which arise, are often distractions, things designed to deter us from reaching our goal. It takes true strength, courage, and bravery to allow battles to go unfought, to allow skirmishes to nip at our heels. Yet, understanding the finite nature of both time and our energy, choosing to invest both in the areas which will bring us closer to our goals, is the true secret to peace.

Internal peace is a choice we make. We choose to be happy, to live full lives, to participate in activities. We can also choose to not fit in, to be unhappy, and be alone. Not every crowd is for every person, never should we compromise our values and morals, or place ourselves in danger to fit in. Rather, we should understand that somewhere in the community we reside in, there is a group we will fit in with, there are people who belong in our tribe, we will find them. Stating you hate where you live, you don’t fit in, and have no friends is a clear declaration to the universe that are choosing misery. It is a blatant middle finger to all that could happen and places you in such a location of drudgery that no good, no nice can overcome the walls.

Thus, allowing everything to upset us, allowing the news and politicians to make us mad is a choice, a choice to hurt ourselves and push those around us away. Choosing to respond to the news and politicians in a positive way, using your time and energy for positive change, to create reform, to start something better is also a choice. You are choosing to set your goal and focus on winning the war, not the battle. Not responding to battles, understanding skirmishes are just a nuisance is the true power. Choosing internal peace is the ultimate war.

In this short life, in the five minutes, we have to make a mark, to make a difference, which do you choose?

Sincerely,

Sara