The value of pets
It is no secret how much I love animals, all sizes and all kinds. While some may not be my favorite, I will never not help an animal in need, hurt an animal, or not say hello. Somewhere in my youth, animals took hold of my heart, and have never let it go.
This past week we adopted a new dog. Selina is a rambunctious, independent, sweet puppy. Having been born in a pound, parvo swept through the pound, and unfortunately, she was the first to fall ill. Lucky for us, she is a fighter. I am eternally grateful to the fosters who nursed her back to health, taught her to trust, and loved her. Even though we hadn’t met yet, it feels like Selina has always been mine.
For the past two and half years, my heart has slowly been healing from the loss of my Sheebah. A strong, independent dog, she taught me life lessons, showed me how to be brave, courageous, and a fighter. When she passed, my heart broke in a way it never has before. For months I felt lost and alone, uncertain of who I was or what the next step in life was. During this time, Raffy, my precious baby boy, grew into the dog I needed him to be. Together we mourned the loss of Sheebah and became each other’s strength.
Raffy came to me weak and in need. At 5-weeks he couldn’t stand, and still needed to be bottle-fed. For the next 6-weeks, Raffy and I fought for his survival. My baby boy is now a handsome, strong 7-year-old man. He understands me in ways no other dog could, we have bonded over 3 am feedings, illnesses, and grief. Raffy is a gentle giant, filled with love and deep wisdom of the human spirit. He has listened to my grief, my heartache, my stress, he guards me when I cry myself to sleep, and wakes me with a laugh. The love I feel for Raffy is deep and special, I have the need to protect him, to keep him safe. He is fragile and needs more care than most, but for Raffy, I would move the world.
Selina, on the other hand, is fierce, independent, and resilient. She is a fighter, empathetic, and caring. She blazes trails, loves adventure, and is curious. Selina is my partner. While she needs me, it is a different kind of need. At some point, other than feeding her, Selina will be independent of me. She will be my partner and friend, my companion on adventures. The love I have for her is deep, I will always keep her safe, and if she ever needed me to, I would protect her.
The past months have been more challenging than others for me. I have missed Sheebah desperately, she would have known what I needed, she would have sung to me, and somewhere in her playfulness, I would have found the answer. Raffy has kept me grounded, given me peace, and guarded me. Yet, the struggles have been real, the pain deep, and the loneliness unbearable. I was lost, uncertain of the next move, and found myself waiting. Rather than rushing, making bad decisions, I waited. I knew the answers would come. And they did. The reality of the answers was not what I expected, and to be honest, knocked the wind out of me.
Reeling from the changes of life, uncertain of what my next move was, Selina walked in. I wasn’t sure I could love her the way she deserved; I was scared my broken heart wouldn’t heal. Arriving home with my daughter exhausted and overwhelmed, we met Selina. Digging deep, I found the energy to care for her, to begin to make her a home. As I struggled through the exhaustion, fought off tears, I found myself in the bathroom sick from an allergic reaction. Struggling to not vomit everywhere, I found Selina crawling on the floor next to me. She looked frightened, and I knew I had to calm her, reassure her everything was ok. As I reached for her, she lunged into my arms, hugged me, and stayed right next to me during the entire ordeal. At that moment we bonded. I knew she was telling me it was ok, it was ok to be sick, ok to be vulnerable, and no matter what, she would be right next to me. At that moment, we bonded. Her empathy, her understanding of being ill, brought us together.
Some find the brokenness and scars of rescue animals to be intimidating, overwhelming. To me, the scars and fear of love make rescue animals easier to relate to, easier to understand. The scars I carry, the pain in my heart, is similar to what rescue animals have. Their shyness, their intimidation, their fear of others is relatable to me. Between Raffy and Selina, I suspect my heart will fully heal. The lessons Sheebah planted in my soul will bloom, and I will slowly begin to become the person she saw in me. Sharing the moment in the bathroom with Selina, I knew my beginning was here, my adventure was starting and I am ready.
Sincerely,
Sara
