The waves of grief
Grief is an interesting emotion, it ebbs and flows like the waves of the ocean. No two moments in grief are ever the same, none can prepare you for the next wave. Without support and help, we can feel as though we are stranded on a small boat, inches from making it to the safety of shore when we are caught in another wave and dragged back out to sea, helpless to stop the tide.
Working through grief is an art, we must understand the stages, allow ourselves to feel the emotions, and then give ourselves permission to heal. The last is perhaps the hardest. The guilt associated with enjoyment and happiness after the passing of a beloved friend, family member, or love is all-consuming. Our minds question our sanity as we dare to live again, to try to move on with our lives. Our hearts ache with each step, and slowly, as we realize how far we have come, the distance between our loved one and where we are now, the ache takes over, consuming the moment and any joy that could have been found.
These waves of emotions leave us on the outskirts of life, the very edge of society. We want to rejoin life, to feel the gusto of life others show, to feel anything but the pain and emptiness. Yet, learning to take the first step, to build the bridge to cross the ocean, to take the outstretched hands desperate to help us, can be terrifying, breathtaking, and far too scary an endeavor to embark upon. The bravery needed to survive the day-to-day while weighted down by the anchor of grief, of the desire of our brains to remain in the last moment we spent with our loved one, to have the courage to dare to take a step, and then another, and finally a third, is incredible. Those who dare to live with the scars grief leaves on their heart, who allow the sun to shine through, creating a beautiful mosaic pattern, a stained-glass window depicting the love we have given, are perhaps the most beautiful people on earth.
Our hearts shatter, break, falter, crack, crumble, and wear under the strain of grief. Our personalities become the shadow of what we were, a ghost of the person we once were. Yet, the scars on our hearts teach us to love again, to give of ourselves, to enjoy the moments of life we can. As we pass through this world, we can live safely, never daring to share a piece of ourselves, to remain perfect, scarless, or we can jump in with both feet, defy the odds thinking maybe we can maintain the love we feel, boldly dashing ahead unafraid of the scars and pain lingering around the bend, understanding these moments build our character, giving us a depth we otherwise would never know.
Dare to live, to love, to be. Discard the fear, stop living safely, embrace the scars. Character is perhaps the best part of us, the part we can choose to develop and grow. Character sets up apart from others while giving us the capacity to understand, to embrace differences. As this year moves forward, lose the fear, take the chance, give the love. Someone, some pet, will thank you.
Sincerely,
Sara
